Barbarella (3/10)

I had no actual intention of reviewing this movie when I brought it to a friends house to watch it on his giant screen, but as we were packing it in for the night Loud turned to me and said "I can't wait to read your take on this!" I feel a little obliged, since he was nice enough to watch it with me. Considering how hilariously awful it is.

Apart from our wonder woman Jane Fonda, the cast is built up of mostly nobodys and one-hit wonders. You may remember Ms. Fonda from such cinmatic masterpieces as Fun with Dick and Jane ('77) and Step and Stretch Workout. This woman was smoking hot in the sixties. She's still easy on the eyes today, but wow. Wowie wow-wow. If you're not following here, this woman is attractive. Fonda takes on the role of Barbarella, the naive Earthling astronaut, searching out and stopping the evil Durand Durand who is threatening the ancient univversal peace. Yeah, I'm not a fan of their tunes either but I think that this astro-manhunt is overkill. Haha, because they're named after the character. See what I did there?

Jane's acting is the best throughout, but that doesn't mean anything when you're comparing her to our darling Pygar, played by John Philip Law. I've never heard of this guy before, so bear with me as I slander his acting credibility based on this one film. I realize that this is the definition of prejudice and I'm awful for holding this against the guy, but it is just so awful. Pygar is the other leading protagonist, the last of the ornithanthropes, or birdmen. This angelic sidekick, was blinded by The Evil Tyrant. He becomes her hero and lover in the labyrinth, but soon becomes more of a dead weight to her cause.

The whole movie is nudity, sex and avant garde costumes. Not that it's entirely a bad thing, and seems to keep true to the french sci-fi comic book it is otherwise very loosely based on. If all you're interested in it a good show of Jane Fonda T & A, you really don't have to watch much futher than the opening credits, which involves the beauty sprawled out in a plexy glass zero-gravity.

Overall, the entire cast needs a few acting lessons. I'm going to have to hand out my very first low grade here. 3/10. Jane Fonda, see me after class.

In other news! For all of my True North brothers, on the Space Network on Thanksgiving day, they will be airing a Turkey-thon.That's right. Terrible movies. ALL. DAY.